Mea Culpa

I suppose I should just address the big elephant in the room so we can all move on. I try to be frank and honest without being confrontational. Remember the Self-Imposed Blog Rule? Yeah, well. Whatever. When I created the rule, I forgot I have 4 other jobs running my life. So, here's an amendment.....once a week, or once a month. You may even get 3 or 4 posts at once. Just keep checking back, I promise I'll keep blogging. And, I hope you accept my apology.

Help

I just finished The Help. A great read. For some reason, this novel resonated with me on so many levels. I believe that if I had read this novel at a different time in my life, the impact would not have been so great. Now that I am living in the South, I have a different perspective. CityCrab grew up with help. Mena was this sassy, strong, outspoken woman of strength. The first time I met her, she had cajoled me into shredding chicken salad for her (wasn't that her job?) and told me that if the impending hurricane actually hit, she was going to "haul ass out of he-ah." I just continued to shred the chicken. Since then, I've become accustomed to these kinds of relationships. For example, I can't think of a holiday where Ann isn't with us. And she travels, whether it's at my house or a sister-in-law's, she's there. She makes latkes for Chanukah, she helped me save my gravy last year at Thanksgiving and cut Citybaby's 1st birthday cake. She is a friend, she is our family and I couldn't picture celebrating an event without her. It is my hope that Citybaby forms these relationships since they bring a certain understanding and exposure. I constantly show him pictures of his baby nurse who sat with him through the night his first few months and his first nanny, who will always live in our hearts. When I mention her name, he still points towards the front door waiting for her walk through. It's this kind relationship that warms one's heart and I highly recommend The Help.

Purim

Purim is a festive Jewish holiday that is this week. Ok, so basically it's the Jewish Halloween. You dress up in costume and read the story of a time when the Jewish people living in Persia were saved from extermination. Tomorrow at school, Citybaby has a Purim parade followed by a music class. Parents, grandparents and caregivers (it is the South afterall) are invited. You are likely wondering, where I am going with this? Mama Ruth. She has been nagging me to go to school to see Citybaby. She said all she wants to do is peek in the door and see him. But we all know this is not true. She wants to go to school, walk the halls, talk to people, tell them who she is, where's she from, and that the camp is named after her family. Oy, the horror! So, I thought tomorrow is the perfect time for her to come. There will be other parents there. She'll get lost in the fray. Plus, she knows some of the other parents and grandparents so maybe she can tell them her same story over and over again. I already warned the teachers that I was trucking her in for the event and that I cannot take responsibility for anything that comes out of her mouth. What am I picturing? Well, I don't put it past her to make requests to the music teacher a la a late night Cole Porter party, cigarette holder and all. I just hope she doesn't sneak over to Citybaby's crib and stick a red ribbon in there.

Sundays with the Yentas

Since I live in the same city as my mother and grandmother, from time to time we do things together. Typicaly, it is an organized event. I would never subject myself to say, shopping or hair appointments with them. Too much unsolicitated advice and torture. About a month ago, we attended the meeting of a local women's group and I should have learned my listen. There were quite a few woman there of Mama Ruth's age and since she's been kicking around Charleston for some time now, she knows everyone, their deal, their story, where they live. Here's an example, when an acquaintance of hers took a nasty spill on the stairs of their home, the only questions she could ask was, "what was she doing upstairs? Her master is on the first floor?" And this is an acquaintance? Anyway, on the way home in the car, Mama Ruth, riding shotgun, asks if when women her age have a "friend", do they sleep toegther? Um, excuse me, what? Then my mother yells from the back seat, "Ma, you're their age, what would you do?" Ok, so at this point, I want to drive the car off the road into an embankment. But, alas, I soldier on. Last Sunday, we attended a women's health lecture. This is the one where my 91 year old granmother stands up and ask this questions. "I can't walk since I get very tired. Is it OK that I ride the stationary bike every day?" Um, that's more exercise than people a third your age do (myslef incldued). Needless to say, the lecturer was amazed at this question. She also expressed shock when she learned that you shouldn't eat ice cream - apparently, she had always believed it's good for your heart. So, as you can see Sundays with The Yentas never disappoint. Next week, we are going for deli.

I'm A Believer

I am not a a true believer in divine intervention, karma or anything else that dictates that celestial or spiritual beings do things. However, today I believe I might have had one of these experiences. I was sitting in my local coffee shop nursing a cup of coffee and streaming off of their free wireless. I was on the phone with a colleague explaining my current nanny conundrum. I am losing my second nanny. I know it makes me seem like a bad employer. In actuality, I am a very good employer and may also be running a fertility clinic since my current nanny is leaving us because she is pregnant. (that's how I lost the first one, too.) So, I get off the phone and a woman sitting at the next table leans over and asks me if I am in fact looking for a nanny. Now, normally this would piss me off. Uh, eavesdropping? Even though it's something I do often. (I've always thought those long distance earphones they sell on late night TV were intriguing.) But my ears immediately perked up and we started a very pleasant conversation which ended in a potential match. And, if anyone loves a good matchmaker, it's me. Hopefully, this will work out. Now that would make me a true believer.

Speechwriter Gig

Mama Ruth is receiving an award. It's local, it's from her synagogue and, truth be told, her name probably just floated to the top of list. How many 90+ people do they have kicking around who they can give an award to? Not to demean her contribution to the community - she does do a lot. One of her made-up principles of the Evil Eye is that you shouldn't be awarded or call to attention to your good fortune. So, at first she didn't want to say anything. She was being coy. After that set in for the appropriate amount of time, she decided that she should say something - they were going to the trouble of the award and all. So, because I have a communications degree and won an elementary spelling bee, I was asked to consult as her speech writer. I instruct her to put down a few thoughts. CityBaby and I roll up to the house to find a fruit and coffee cake buffet (leftovers from mah jong, I'm imagining) and 8 pages of handwritten notes on a legal pad. 8 pages! On a legal pad! So, I settle CityBaby down in front of the fruit and we get to work. I cut and cut and cut. She adds and adds and adds. I try to tell her that these people don't care that in 1962 she won the award for Israeli Bonds. Heck, in 1962 Israel was just a fledgling country. I inform her that no one in the audience will know who Hedda Hopper and Bess Meyerson are (I had to google Bess). I plead with her to not tell the story, for the millionth time, about how the Sisterhood did a play about her. And, then out of thin air she comes up with the ending: "If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere." Wait, where? What are you talking about? I succumb and join CityBaby on the floor for fruit and coffee cake. And the two of us sit there and listen, for the millionth time about the play and Hedda Hopper and Bess Meyerson and the Great Israel Bond Drive of 1962. Sigh...........

Self Imposed Blog Rule

I have not been a very good blogger. In fact, I've been a bad blogger. Sure I am not twitter which is a blog for time-crunched folks like myself. But the thing that really gets me is I like to blog. I like to write and I like to observe and then dish it up for all you readers. So, I am self-imposing a blog rule: blog every day. Even if it's just to say hi. I have recently gained inspiration from the millions of every day people who following Oprah for a year or creating Happiness or knitting every pattern in a book. So, I am going to blog everyday. Maybe for a year or just a month, I suppose you'll have to stay glued to see how long I last.

From the Library

I have recently found myself visiting the non-fiction section of the library. I certainly haven't read all the fiction out there but had trouble finding anything really compelling. So, I sauntered over to non-fiction and have found myself lost in all kinds of stories. A few weeks ago I wrote about the Pop-Up Book Club and have this to be increadinglymore common. So, here's what I've been reading:

Eat, Pray, Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert - this book felt a little contrived but I found the Italy part melodious and found the meditation part oddly intriguing. Like I might try meditation, maybe, someday.
Perfection by Julie Metz - fascinating story - author's husband dies suddenly and as she is going through his papers finds out about the other life he was leading.
Please Excuse My Daughter by Julie Klam - hysterical and touching all at the same time. Privileged upbringing finds a 30-something girl ill-equipped for life. Tale follows how she figured it all out.
Split by Suzanne Finnamore - I had read the author's fiction so felt this was required reading. Raw story about her divorce. Definitely not for the squeamish.
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls - another fascinating read. True story about the author's youth and dramatic turn her parents' lives take. Some of the stories were so riveting that I kept flipping back to the author's picture on the book jacket because I was so shocked by it.

And here's what's on "To Read" list:

Open by Andre Agassi (a CityCrab recommendation)
The Invisible Wall by Harry Bernstein (another CityCrab recommendation)
The Rabbi's Daughter by Reva Mann

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving marks the anniversary of my blog. 4 years. It's hard to believe that 4 years I started blogging. It's also interesting to see what has transpired the last 4 years. I moved states, jobs, lost a dog, gained a baby....and those are just the biggies. Thanksgiving also marks the family holiday that CityCrab and I host. Between us we've got a sizeable family. Now, I know you're thinking dining room table with the card table annex at the end. No, I am talking multiple tables in multiple rooms. Usually we host about 30. This year, however, we hosted a measly 18 people. That's nothing for us. It was amazingly stress-free. Of course, we have amazing help (domestic and otherwise) who we could not do it without and it all came together quite nicely. CityCrab's turkey was outstanding. Moist, flavorful - it did not disappoint. And, best of all we got the chance to spend it with friends and family.

Pop-Up Book Club

So, this title is probably a little misleading now that I look at it. It makes it seem as though I am in a bookclub that reads pop-up books. Now, wouldn't that be fun....for my toddler and all his friends. But I am actually not in a book club at all. The Pop-up is a recent phenomenon that has hit the retail scene. Stores open up small outlets of their larger stores for limited times. It is mostly happening in larger cities. I believe Target may have started this...does anyone remember the Target boat in the Hudson River in early 2000? I believe this concept could catch on with book clubs. This occurred to me last night. We met 3 other couples for dinner. These are some of our oldest & dearest friends. CityCrab has known the husbands practically since he was born. And the significant others all get along. We all lead very busy lives and we don't get a chance to see each other often and catch up. Well, for whatever reason we all started talking about what we're reading. And, voila, the pop-club book club was born. We all read the same books and we started to discuss them. Then the talk wandered to The Kindle and whether to Kindle or not. Then we started sharing titles of great reads. It's the perfect kind of book club. No pressure to finish a book you don't like, no pressure to host people in your houme or arrange daycare to attend. You just pop-up your title, throw it out there and discuss.

Flair

Tonight CityCrab and I attended the opening night of the season at Charleston Stage. CityCrab is on the board and as such we were invited to the opening night cocktail reception. The attendant at Will Call handed me 2 tickets and 2 names tags. I passed everything over to CityCrab (I was bagless tonight - it's one the lesser known benefits of marriage). CityCrab promptly handed my name tag back to me. I waved my hand and answered "I don't wear flair." Of course, he gave me a hard time about this. So, against my will I pinned that name tag to my blouse. We drank, we schmoozed, they dimmed the lights and we made our way to the theater. As I was standing at the top of the stairs waiting for CityCrab, a woman approached me, handed me 2 tickets and asked me where she was sitting. I looked at her and said, "I don't work here." And that, my friends, is why I don't wear flair.

The Tale of the Craigslist Nanny

I only have myself to blame. I see the number come across caller ID and I pick it up. I'm not even sure I heard the second half of the first ring and what I hear emanating from Mama Ruth's mouth is: "Nancy says you have an ad for a nanny on Craigslist. Don't you know people die on Craigslist?" I am speechless. "What?", which is an attempt to buy time. "Craigslist? Do you mean Facebook?"

Backstory: Nancy* is my aunt. A few weeks ago, in an attempt to find a new nanny I decided to let social media do a little work for me. So, I posted a status that read "...is seeking a nanny. Any referrals?" We all know the best way to secure good services is through referrals.

Back to the rest of the conversation:

Mama Ruth: What is this Facebook?
Me: (a lot of mumbling as I attempt to explain social media and the information superhighway to a woman who still wears gloves and a hat when she travels by train)...uh, it's a website where you are friends with people."
MR: "People die there."
Me: In my head I say, "Well, if you post an ad for a tranny hooker, then, yes, people might die there." But what I really say is, "Not anyone we know." This is usually totally acceptable reasoning with her.
MR: "Well, I don't like it."
Me: "Well, I need someone to watch CityBaby."
MR: "If you need me to, I can watch him Wednesday afternoons."
Me: In my head again, "How gracious of you to give up a few hours of your week in between hair appointments, 2 games of bridge and the rabbi's class and how bold of you to assume that I would want my 14 month old son hanging with someone who deems it completely acceptable for him to suck on sterling silver candlesticks. She does, ya know. But what I really say is, "That's OK. I'm sure I'll find someone."
MR: "Well, you better put a big red ribbon on him." Here we go with the Kabbalah crap again. I've learned my lesson here.
Me: "Um, OK."

Then she declares that she has to go. Ah, all is right in the world again.


*All names have been changed to protect the innocent, except for Mama Ruth, that is her name and she is not innocent.

Over and Dunne

Today came very sad news. One of my all time favorite authors and personalities passed away. Dominick Dunne was an old Hollywood legend. I first became acquainted with him in my high school years through Vanity Fair. After reading everything he wrote for the mag, I went back and read everyone of his books. I followed him as he followed OJ; the first, second and third time, and the Menendez brothers and Lily Safra and on and on and on. One day I had the opportunity to meet him on the Metro North train from New Haven back to the city. I spent the entire trip sitting across from him trying to contain my excitement at being in his impeecably dressed presence. At 125th St., I finally leaned over and told him I was a fan. I remember how grateful he was and how he promptly went back to his paper. I mean, it's not like he was going to invite me to Swifty's for a drink. In any event, I'll miss his monthly VF article, his presence at the big courtroom dramas and all his untold stories.

Culinary Tour Stop #1

Last week, we hit our first stop on the Sullivans Island Culinary Tour 2009. HomeTeam BBQ. Here's the rundown:

1. Food was pretty good. Their lunch menu is pretty straight forward: sandwiches with 1 side, chicken (1/4 or 1/2) with a choice of sides, a whole host of salads.

2. Mam Ruth was horrified....let me say that again HORRIFIED, that CityBbay had food all over his face and the table. I had to turn to her, lean in and in a controlled voice tell her, that he's a baby and we're eating in place that is basically a beach bar. This is what it's like when you have a baby.

3. Just so she wouldn't be outdone, she had to dispense a bit of her own wisdom. She proceeded tot ell me that when you have a baby you have put locks on all your doors and cabinets (Really?) and that with medicine? "You have to buy a house 4 blocks away and lock all your medicine in a cabinet in the 3rd floor." OK, thanks for the real world advice.

All in all, everyone enjoyed themselves. Here are some pics to document the revelry. My personal favorite is the one where Mama Ruth tried to get CityBaby to tango.



Next stop.....Thyme.

Goods Reads, Good Bye!

At the urging of a friend, I joined goodreads.com. It's a site that allows you to post your past, current & future reads, recommend and rate books and link to your friends (and their friends) to see what everyone is reading. Quite frankly, it makes me feel deficient. I love to read, however, lately I've been having trouble finding time & patience. So, how do you think I feel when I am still on the book I bought for last year's vacation and I get weekly updates from people who have read 2 books? So, I have decided to ditch goodreads and introduce to a far more antiquated system. Every time I see a book I think I might like to read, I go to amazon.com, look it up and add it to my wishlist. I am loathe to admit that my amazon wishlist looks like the middle well of my car and the top drawer of my nightstand: a dumping station for crap. But I find it an effective way to remind myself of books that appeared interesting. So, I am revealing my wishlist. Enjoy browsing my list and start your own and share it.

Like Riding a Bike

I want this. I saw it today online and decided I want it. Can't you just see it? I am trekking to the beach with CityBaby and beach gear in tow. I am jetting off to the grocery store with my recyclable bags hanging out the back. I am maneuvering the cobblestone streets of downtown Charleston with fresh flowers and a baguette riding alongside Reuben. You can't see it? Oh, shoot. I can't either but I still want it anyway.

Dissed

Today CityBaby and I were dissed. Hard. By Mama Ruth. See Culinary Tour for background but today we were scheduled to have lunch. Last night at 8:30, we spoke and firmed it up. Pick you up at 12:15. Perfect. Then this morning I called Mama Ruth to re-confirm, I figure you need to do this with a 91 year old woman. And, she coldly asked me if I got her message. Uh, no. In fact, I didn;\'t even hear the phone ring. Well, she tells me that last night she got a call and "her girls" need her for a fourth to play cards. Gee, I guess you can't let Frances, Muriel and Phyllis down. They're your girls. They need you. Your blood relations including your great-grandson, who you usually dote on, will fend for ourselves. Seriously, we'll be fine. Really.

Culinary Tour

Even though we are in the worst economic time since the Depression, there seems to be a plethora of new restaurants opening up in my area. Of course, I don't really know about them because I don't pay attention to such things. But, thankfully, I have Mama Ruth. No one makes a move without her knowing. You can't open a restaurant, change the display in the window of your store or forget to pick up your mail without her knowing. So, in light of the new openings, she has planned a Culinary Tour of Sullivan's Island. This will be helpful for anyone traveling to Charleston anytime soon. So, here's our itinerary:

Thyme - Apparently, this place has been around for awhile but I never noticed it. They have sandwiches, salads and such. Mama Ruth claims it's very good. I imagine this to be the kind of place you pick up sandwiches on your way to the beach.

Hometeam BBQ - The genesis for this stop was created when my brother was in town visiting. She was looking for somewhere casual to take everyone. She has a tablecloth/no child rule so this fit the bill. I have eaten their food at events but am eager to try it in-house.

Seel's Fish Camp - This recently opened. Mama Ruth loves her some fried food. And, I say, she deserves it. If you get to 91 without anything but elective surgery (cough, cough - plastic surgery - cough, cough) then eat all the fried stuff you want and take up smoking while you're at it!

Place with no name - This is a restaurant that apparently is located between what was previously known as Bert's Bar and another building. She claims it is there even though I have never seen it. They only serve lunch Friday, Saturday & Sunday. I'm pretty skeptical that this place even exists but I'll be sure to share a review.

Sullivan's - an oldie but goodie. This place has been around probably close to 20 years. I can remember eating here when I was younger. It's a neighborhood kind of place. The big draw for my grandparents was the 2 for Tuesday. Get 2 meals for the price of 1. As products of the depression they loved it. Not sure it's still the same case.

So, that's our plan. Since Mama Ruth has quite the social schedule, this tour will take some time since it can only occur on Fridays and the occasional Wednesday. She's busy every other day. Bon Appetit!

The Vortex

I recently read Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking. An amazing book in so many respects. In it she refers to something she calls "The Vortex". This is a name, a place or an object that recalls something else and your mind begins to take a journey that recalls many things all at once. It's almost as if time stops. I found this especially interesting since I experience something similar online. My version is called the black hole and it goes something like this: I sign in to Facebook. I check my friends updates. Then I see a long forgotten acquaintance from high school commented on a friend's picture. I click to see the picture. Then I see someone else I recognize. Then I land on their page (don't they know they can restrict it? fortunately for me, no). Then I see they own a company that makes baby clothes. And they have a blog on their site. So, I start reading that. Then hours later, I am looking at some girl I don't even know's pictures from her family vacation to dig potatoes in Idaho. Sound familiar? This is also usually the point when I realize either my phone is ringing, my baby is crying, the water on the stove is overflowing or my husband is standing over me asking what I am looking at. And I have to sheepishly answer, some girl I don't even know's pictures from her family vacation to dig potatoes in Idaho. Black Hole? The Vortex? Whatever you call it, it sure beats answering the phone, soothing the baby, turning down the water and humiliating myself to my husband.

Bravo, Bravo!

This post is way overdue. Those of you who know me know I am a bit of a reality TV whore. And, Bravo has my number. Ironically, I never watched the Real Housewives of the OC but caught New York and have never looked back. I have pretty much watched every show, recap show and endless re-runs. Now with the addition of NYC Prep and Miami Social....as my grandmother used to say, "what a way to go!" Bravo, Bravo. Bravo!