Challah? Holla!

I was desperate for a child-friendly activity today. We've been climbing the walls all week and have exhausted coloring and painting and building with blocks and all of our play-doh is a deep gray from having mixed every color together. So, what's a good Friday afternoon actvity? Challah. Challah is one of CityBbay's (and my own) favorite foods. The teacher at school claims it was his first word. It's sweet and doughy and when it's warm, oh, it's breathtaking. What's not to love about it? And with Shabbos looming, I decided to try it. I did my research. I went straight to the experts but quickly ruled out Rita Brownstein and decided to go with Joan Nathan, she's our Mario Batali and Martha Stewart all rolled into one. So, as I learned Challah is hard work and an all day affair. Nevermind the two types of dough and making sure the yeast is actually dissolved. The kneading. Oh, the kneading. 10 minutes felt like hours and my arms felt like noodles after. Here is the dough post kneading, rising for the last time and fresh out of the oven:






































I learned a couple of things that I'll incorporate next time. I didn't need as much all-purpose flour. I will definitely use my mixer to knead it next time. And, I cooked it with a small pan of water in the oven. This was a tip I received and apaprently makes the bread softer on the inside. I got the recipe from Joan Nathan's Jewish Holiday Cookbook. Good Shabbos.

Whoop! There it is!

Yesterday, just after lunchtime I retrieved my phone from the depths of purse and was shocked to see 3 missed calls from a friend. No messages, just missed calls. Something was up. So, I called one back and she asked me in a state of panic, "Did you get a call from DHEC?" Uh, no. She instructed me to listen to my voicemail but gave me the lowdown. A child in CityBaby's class was infected with whooping ocugh (Pertussis, to you experts) and every child needed to go on antibiotic. I fle into a panic. Called DHEC, called my pediatrician, called my husband, called my parents...oy, the drama of it all. I learned more than I ever needed to know about infectious diseases. And, now I've got a potential carrier monkey running around my house....for the next 3 says...with no help. We're quarantined. It's contagious. And, it sucks.

Garden of Nothin'

For those of you playing along at home, here's the latest from the garden. We are up to 12 tomatoes with one starting to turn reddish. Squash flowers have fallen off and if I inspect really closely with a magnifying glass I can see the start of a squash bed behind the fallen flowers. I have to use a very strict visualization technique here. The yellow peppers are still green but getting bigger. And there is one really large cucumber plant - I like to call it the "mama" plant since it is heads above all the others. A friend asked me this week if I was disappointed in the garden. And, my truthful answer was...yes. I am disappointed. I thought I would be knee deep in vegetables by now. I know we have a long growing season. I know I started from scratch. I know vegetables take an average of 50-60 days to grow. I know. I know. I know. But I just don't want to accept it.

Back outside to watch my boiling pot boil.

Camp

I just finalized CityBaby's summer camp plans. It brings back so memories for me. It's only day camp and he's not even 2 but I know it'll be the start of the lifelong friendships he'll make and the memories he'll create. I recently connected with my camp online as an alumni and have been receiving emails and updates about their goings on. My father and brother both attended the same camp, as well as many of my other relatives. I enjoy seeing the progress it has made. And recognizing the landmarks of my youth. I am also amazed at the innovation. You can email your child and watch them via webcam. I remember when pre-printed stationery with check off boxes (the weather is....warm, the counselors are...nice) was de rigueur. For the sake of the current campers I hope they chosen to hire a cleaning staff (I hated the chore wheel) and improved upon the kosher cheese - that stuff was scary. Now that his summer plans are finalized, I'm off to order name tags that I'll affix to everything he owns.

Inventory

This morning I walked the fields and took inventory. We have 9 tomatoes - green and in varying sizes. The largest is currently the size of a golf ball. We have 2 very small peppers. They are green but growing off the yellow pepper plant so I am assuming at some point they'll turn. (Side note: did you know a red pepper is a green pepper that has been left on the vine too long? So, why are they so expensive????) And we have a lot of squash flowers. The lettuce may be a goner - I've been informed that it should bloom within a week and produce leaves almost instantly. The watermelon and eggplant don't look so hot either. I am very impatient and have expressed my disappointment in the lack of bounty and the amount of time it is taking, but was informed by some experts that it is only May and our growing season goes through September here in Charleston. We have a long season ahead of us.

Summer Reading

All my girls are back. Just in time for summer reading. Although, who's kidding who, I enjoy summer reading all year long. I'm not exactly cracking Joyce or Tolstoy. Here's what is on my wishlist (note - some of these don't release until I'll be working to fill in my tan lines):

Fly Away Home by Jennifer Weiner - releases 7.13.10
Promises To Keep by Jane Green - releases 6.15.10
Last Night at Chateau Marmontby Lauren Weisberger - releases 7.15.10
Heart of the Matter by Emily Giffin - releases 5.11.10
The Island by Elin Hilderbrand - releases 7.6.10
The Carrie Diaries by Candace Bushnell - currently available
Mini Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella - releases 9.21.10
Arm Candy by Jill Kargman - releases 5.13.10
The Seven Year Bitch by Jennifer Bell - releases 5.13.10
I'm So Happy For Youby Lucinda Rosenfeld
Orange is the New Black by Piper Kerman

With this kind of release schedule, I'll have a new book a week. I had better get reading.....

Growth Spurt

We experienced our first major growth spurt this weekend. The tomato bushes almost doubled and there is the start of some very tiny green tomatoes. The eggplants, which I was about to scrap, are finally sprouting. Even the green peppers have tiny leaves sticking through. I am going to assume it's not a weed even though it is very weed-like. Now it's just a waiting game. Water and wait. Story of my life.

Realization

I've come to the realization that I am reality TV junkie. Junkie in the worst way. Looking back, it all started post 9/11 with my first taste of Temptation Island and has developed into a fullblown habit. I can, at any given moment, turn to Bravo or TLC and be sucked into a program. I realized my habit was really bad when CityCrab and I were discussing Operation Repo and Pawn Stars over dinner. My real favorite is the Housewives franchise. I love the drama, the dresses and the drag out fights. NY is my personal fave since I love NYC as the backdrop. Of course, with their nontraditional season, I need to find fill-ins. So, of course Millionaire Matchmaker makes the DVR to do list. One of my new faves is 9 by Design. Originally thinking this was a Jon & Kate or Duggar themed show, I passed on it. But then I saw the promo and hooked and now it's a DVR list staple. Oh, the addiction. The sad part? I don't want to be saved from myself.

Blog Roulette

Have you ever played blog roulette? This is where you click "next blog" in the toolbar above and it randomly takes you to the next blog. Then you hit it again and see what comes up. I don't do this often since I view it as an activity of those who have a lot of time on their hands. But I've done it enough to make a few observations:

1. 1 out 2 blogs on blogger are in a language other than English. I've seen Spanish, Portuguese, French, several iterations of Asian languages and even Hebrew. Pretty amazing on the part of blogger.

2. Most of the blogs I come across are used as a communication tool. Family themes with mundane descriptions of holidays or daily events with loads of pictures. Presumably to let friends and families know what is going on. I am guilty of this and know at least 3 other friends who are, too. But it is a nice way to stay in contact without having to actually be in contact.

3. Then there are the cause blogs. Another way to keep friends and families updated but these are much more dire situations. Sad stories of sick children, parents, grandparents. These are the unfortunate blogs.

4. I have also learned that everyone else is a blog slacker. Of the blogs I am able to read, the most current post usually starts with "has it been a month since my last post?", or "wow - it's been awhile", or, a direct quote, "holy sh!^, I'm lame." This always makes me feel better.

Try it sometime, spin the wheel and see what you find out. I think you'll be amazed. If not, you'll be sucked in the vortex of some random Midwest families most recent trip, which can prove to be a great procrastination tool.

And, from The Little Shelf....

I am lucky in that I come from a family of readers and thus have a constant resource of books either from my childhood or from suggestions. Here are CityBaby's favorites (and mine, too):

The Sneetches and Other Stories by Dr. Suess - This is my all time favorite Dr. Suess book and you have probably never heard of it. The title story is about the Sneetches, a unique tribe where some have stars on their belly and some don't. But it's really about understanding other people's difference and tolerance plus it has a guy named Sylvester McMonkey McBean who is a Fix It Up Chappie. And there's also a little obscure poem in there about Mrs. McCave who has 23 sons and she names them all Dave. Hilarity ensues.

How To Make An Apple Pie and See The World by Marjorie Price - This books takes you on a journey around thw rold to acquire the ingredients to make an apple pie. Brilliant.

The Art Lesson by Tomie DePaola - a poignant story about DePaola as a boy and his search to express himself through art. All of Dipoala's books are great.

Annie The Apple Farmer by Monica Wellington - in Spanish with English subtitles about Annie and how she grows her apples on her farm in upstate NY then sells them at, what I am guessing is, The Union Square Farmer's Market. CityBaby loves this one.

We also read a lot of the typical like Mike Mulligan and His Steamship and Goodnight Gorilla and, of course, Good Night Moon but hopefully the above will give you exposure to a few you haven't seen.

From the Shelf

Here's my update since my last book post.

The Rabbi's Wife by Reva Mann: riveting, read it in 2 days. Literally could not put it down. I read it everywhere even at stop lights. Rabbi's daughter grows awry then goes back, then settles soemwhere in the middle.

Queen Takes King by Gigi Levangie - not my proudest literary moment but a nice break from something as intense as The Rabbi's Wife. Screams beach read.

Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough by Lori Gottlieb - Oy what a book! Gottlieb got a lot of press a few years ago when she wrote the article that is the basis for this book. It's non-fiction and is an argument for overlooking flaws in men and marrying them despite their shortcomings. I ripped through this in about 4 days (it took some time to digest in between readings). I would not reccomend buying this book since there isn't anything in here that no one has heard before but if you can hget it froim your library or buy it used on amazon, it's an interesting read.

The Help by Kathryn Stockett - I already blogged about this one. It's worth every period, comma and word.

The Castaways by Elin Hilderbrand - I'm a big Hilderbrand fan. Blue Bistro is still my favorite by this is a close second.

The Late Bloomers Revolution by Amy Cohen - this is the kind of book that makes me realize if someone could write their mundane story, so could I. It was entertaining - read it in 2 days - but nothing more than a here's-why-I-am-a-crazy-neurotic-New York-Jew-with-issues. Who isn't?

Remember Me? by Sophie Kinsella - entertaining, easy to read, and I love London as a backdrop.

Summer People by Elin Hilderbrand - not as good as he others but enjoyable. I like finding a writer whose collection I haven't read since it's a way to ensure I'll have books for weeks.

Next up:
The Weissmans of Westport by Cathleen Schine - found this through NYTimes Book Review. Also want to read The New Yorkers by her.

Blink by Malcolm Gladwell - I'm going to steal this from CityCrab's nightstand when he's done with it.

The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larson - We've had this book since last summer and I can't help but be intriugued by all the goods press it is getting. It also inhabits CityCrab's nightstand.

What is everyone else reading?

I've Gone Green

It's spring. I'm embarking on a garden project. I need to renovate a lot of things including my blog. That's why I've decided to go green. What do you think?

Fruits, err, Vegetables of Our Labor

All the watering, and fertilizing and praying, not to mention the motivational talks, are paying off. The tomatoes, yellow squash and yellow pepper plants have shown significant growth. But more exciting are the plants that we planted as seeds. The lettuce started to sprout last week but the cucumbers and squash literally popped up overnight. It's so exciting to see the little leaves sticking out of the dirt. Even the watermelon and beans are starting to show promise. Our only loser right is the eggplant. In the herb department, everyone is doing fine and we've significant growth there. The interesting thing I have learned is that all herbs look the same when they first sprout. Looking across the 6 pots and seeing the same thing, had me wondering if I mistakenly planted the same seed in every pot. They sprout the same then turn into their own plant. Am I boring you yet with all my useless knowledge and talk of dirt? I'll post pics when I have a chance.

How Does Your Garden Grow?

I'm happy to report that after a few trips to our local garden center and Lowe's, we successfully planted what will be sure to bring us a summer full of vegetables.

Here's where our tomatoes, peppers (green & yellow), squash, zucchini, cucumbers, eggplants, lettuce, green beans and watermelon will be living all summer long.













And here is my father doing the initial water. You can tell he never met a camera he didn't like.

I've been out there watering twice a day and think I can already see some improvement. We shouldn't expect our first crop for a few weeks and we are all anxiously awaiting it.

Garden Update

There's not much to update. I haven't actually planted anything yet because I have been waiting for the nighttime temperatures to reach 50 degrees. Also, I'm feeling anxious about planting. However, this Saturday, I am going to buy plants and get started. I have a diagram of what I need to buy (some veggies do best started as plants, others can be seeds) and optimal placement (things that grow in vines need to be on the outside, bushes in the middle). In other gardening news, I also have herbs growing in individual pots. I did this last year with basil and thyme and it was such a success, I've decided to expand to rosemary, parsley, cilantro and dill. These were planted about 10 days ago and I am just starting to see a few leaves pop out of the basil and dill. Every day I go out and water and inspect. It's a bit frustrating but I am hanging in there. CityBaby helped me plant those (and helps me water, which is just a mess) but we are both hopeful that before long we'll have some herbs. I'll post pics when I have something to share. I don't want to bore you with pictures of dirt.

Easter

I'll just go ahead and answer the questions about to roll off your tongue. Yes, we are Jewish. No, we don't celebrate Easter. But who are we to pass up an invite to an Easter Egg Hunt? This past weekend good friends of ours held an Easter Egg Hunt and invited us. We are always up for a cultural exchange (we send them a Purim Shalach Manos every year) and well, let's be honest, chocolate is involved. In preparation, I put together a small basket for the host. Picture me in the seasonal candy aisle at Target surveying everyone for their opinion on what to include. We roll up to find everyone in their beautiful smocked clothing (we went slightly more urban) and empty baskets. Empty baskets??? Shoot! You need some type of receptacle to hold your eggs. I looked back into my car. Would a Whole Foods grocery bag do? We were already smockless- why push it? And truth be told, my only option at home would have been a Halloween pumpkin. Thankfully, the hostess had a basket for CityBaby. Once he got the hang of it, he really enjoyed it. He didn't love the Easter Bunny arrival but he has never really taken to human size creatures. Here are some pics. I'm thinking about using them for next year's Chanukah card...whaddya think?





GC and Citybaby discussing strategy.



I'm not that into you but I'll take your bubbles.

Passover 911

Last night was the first Passover seder. The seder is the festive meal during which the story commemorating the biblical event of Hebrews' escape from enslavement in Egypt is told. And, yes, it's the same story every year. And, yes, we eat the same food every year. Last night, however, we had quite a bit of excitement. The host, my sister-in-law, contracted some kind of stomach virus about 30 minutes before everyone arrived. So, here we were, our own group of Hebrews without a leader. Fortunately, we had Ann. Trusty, old Ann. As the rest of us sister-in-laws rolled up our sleeves and dug in plating gefilte fish and chopping celery and filling water glasses, Ann became our leader. She told us to put out the matzahs, 3 at the head table in the matzah cover. She reminded us that the celery needs salt water. She made sure everyone who wanted 2 matzah balls got them. She kept us soldiers in line, the wine flowing and the kitchen spotless. You couldn't set down a dirty dish without it being cleaned only seconds later. And, she even remembered to put out the desserts. At the end of the night, as we stood shoulder to shoulder washing and drying, we knew that had it not been for her, our seder would not have happened. I know miracles are traditionally reserved for Chanukah, but this truly was our Passover miracle. Now for the second seder.......

Spring Cleaning

I am a little late to the spring cleaning game. Probably by about 5 years. All the typical signals have not spoken to me until now. This week is Passover, where the Jews celebrate their journey through Israel. Associated with this holiday is the expulsion of any bread products from your home. This to me is the loudest signal of all to spring clean. This year I've got lots to unload. Baby toys, now that I have a toddler, clothes, mine, CityCrab's and CityBaby's and a garage full of stuff. I am embarrassed to admit that there are boxes in there from NYC. We moved from New York in 2003. Yes, it's that bad. I am not auditioning for Hoarders but I need to get some spring cleaning under belt now otherwise, I'll be calling it Fall Cleaning. My plan is to dedicate some time each week to digging and purging. So far this week I've gotten rid of bread, some junk mail and a couple of books I passed on to a friend. And, of course, I cleared my head. So, now the real task lays ahead.

Garden Party

This year we are growing a vegetable garden. We're lucky to have the expertise of my parents, who are humans disguised as expert gardeners. My father built us a first class garden (cypress exterior, swing door with lock to keep out the really smart deer.) Then we had a special blend of dirt delivered. It's a combination of compost, cedar, which oxidizes the dirt and a bunch of other really good stuff. Next steps included laying down newspaper (black & white only) then alfalfa hay to help the roots find their way to the ground and well, root. Apparently with vegetables you want the roots to grow deep and the vines to grow high.

Our crop will include lettuce, peppers, squash, zucchini, tomatoes, eggplants, pole beans and cucumbers. CityCrab has requested a watermelon. I probably should caveat this by saying I do not have a green thumb. In fact, I'm a plant killer. But with the help of some very knowledgeable resources, I know we can do this.

As promised here are some pics:

Mea Culpa

I suppose I should just address the big elephant in the room so we can all move on. I try to be frank and honest without being confrontational. Remember the Self-Imposed Blog Rule? Yeah, well. Whatever. When I created the rule, I forgot I have 4 other jobs running my life. So, here's an amendment.....once a week, or once a month. You may even get 3 or 4 posts at once. Just keep checking back, I promise I'll keep blogging. And, I hope you accept my apology.

Help

I just finished The Help. A great read. For some reason, this novel resonated with me on so many levels. I believe that if I had read this novel at a different time in my life, the impact would not have been so great. Now that I am living in the South, I have a different perspective. CityCrab grew up with help. Mena was this sassy, strong, outspoken woman of strength. The first time I met her, she had cajoled me into shredding chicken salad for her (wasn't that her job?) and told me that if the impending hurricane actually hit, she was going to "haul ass out of he-ah." I just continued to shred the chicken. Since then, I've become accustomed to these kinds of relationships. For example, I can't think of a holiday where Ann isn't with us. And she travels, whether it's at my house or a sister-in-law's, she's there. She makes latkes for Chanukah, she helped me save my gravy last year at Thanksgiving and cut Citybaby's 1st birthday cake. She is a friend, she is our family and I couldn't picture celebrating an event without her. It is my hope that Citybaby forms these relationships since they bring a certain understanding and exposure. I constantly show him pictures of his baby nurse who sat with him through the night his first few months and his first nanny, who will always live in our hearts. When I mention her name, he still points towards the front door waiting for her walk through. It's this kind relationship that warms one's heart and I highly recommend The Help.

Purim

Purim is a festive Jewish holiday that is this week. Ok, so basically it's the Jewish Halloween. You dress up in costume and read the story of a time when the Jewish people living in Persia were saved from extermination. Tomorrow at school, Citybaby has a Purim parade followed by a music class. Parents, grandparents and caregivers (it is the South afterall) are invited. You are likely wondering, where I am going with this? Mama Ruth. She has been nagging me to go to school to see Citybaby. She said all she wants to do is peek in the door and see him. But we all know this is not true. She wants to go to school, walk the halls, talk to people, tell them who she is, where's she from, and that the camp is named after her family. Oy, the horror! So, I thought tomorrow is the perfect time for her to come. There will be other parents there. She'll get lost in the fray. Plus, she knows some of the other parents and grandparents so maybe she can tell them her same story over and over again. I already warned the teachers that I was trucking her in for the event and that I cannot take responsibility for anything that comes out of her mouth. What am I picturing? Well, I don't put it past her to make requests to the music teacher a la a late night Cole Porter party, cigarette holder and all. I just hope she doesn't sneak over to Citybaby's crib and stick a red ribbon in there.

Sundays with the Yentas

Since I live in the same city as my mother and grandmother, from time to time we do things together. Typicaly, it is an organized event. I would never subject myself to say, shopping or hair appointments with them. Too much unsolicitated advice and torture. About a month ago, we attended the meeting of a local women's group and I should have learned my listen. There were quite a few woman there of Mama Ruth's age and since she's been kicking around Charleston for some time now, she knows everyone, their deal, their story, where they live. Here's an example, when an acquaintance of hers took a nasty spill on the stairs of their home, the only questions she could ask was, "what was she doing upstairs? Her master is on the first floor?" And this is an acquaintance? Anyway, on the way home in the car, Mama Ruth, riding shotgun, asks if when women her age have a "friend", do they sleep toegther? Um, excuse me, what? Then my mother yells from the back seat, "Ma, you're their age, what would you do?" Ok, so at this point, I want to drive the car off the road into an embankment. But, alas, I soldier on. Last Sunday, we attended a women's health lecture. This is the one where my 91 year old granmother stands up and ask this questions. "I can't walk since I get very tired. Is it OK that I ride the stationary bike every day?" Um, that's more exercise than people a third your age do (myslef incldued). Needless to say, the lecturer was amazed at this question. She also expressed shock when she learned that you shouldn't eat ice cream - apparently, she had always believed it's good for your heart. So, as you can see Sundays with The Yentas never disappoint. Next week, we are going for deli.

I'm A Believer

I am not a a true believer in divine intervention, karma or anything else that dictates that celestial or spiritual beings do things. However, today I believe I might have had one of these experiences. I was sitting in my local coffee shop nursing a cup of coffee and streaming off of their free wireless. I was on the phone with a colleague explaining my current nanny conundrum. I am losing my second nanny. I know it makes me seem like a bad employer. In actuality, I am a very good employer and may also be running a fertility clinic since my current nanny is leaving us because she is pregnant. (that's how I lost the first one, too.) So, I get off the phone and a woman sitting at the next table leans over and asks me if I am in fact looking for a nanny. Now, normally this would piss me off. Uh, eavesdropping? Even though it's something I do often. (I've always thought those long distance earphones they sell on late night TV were intriguing.) But my ears immediately perked up and we started a very pleasant conversation which ended in a potential match. And, if anyone loves a good matchmaker, it's me. Hopefully, this will work out. Now that would make me a true believer.

Speechwriter Gig

Mama Ruth is receiving an award. It's local, it's from her synagogue and, truth be told, her name probably just floated to the top of list. How many 90+ people do they have kicking around who they can give an award to? Not to demean her contribution to the community - she does do a lot. One of her made-up principles of the Evil Eye is that you shouldn't be awarded or call to attention to your good fortune. So, at first she didn't want to say anything. She was being coy. After that set in for the appropriate amount of time, she decided that she should say something - they were going to the trouble of the award and all. So, because I have a communications degree and won an elementary spelling bee, I was asked to consult as her speech writer. I instruct her to put down a few thoughts. CityBaby and I roll up to the house to find a fruit and coffee cake buffet (leftovers from mah jong, I'm imagining) and 8 pages of handwritten notes on a legal pad. 8 pages! On a legal pad! So, I settle CityBaby down in front of the fruit and we get to work. I cut and cut and cut. She adds and adds and adds. I try to tell her that these people don't care that in 1962 she won the award for Israeli Bonds. Heck, in 1962 Israel was just a fledgling country. I inform her that no one in the audience will know who Hedda Hopper and Bess Meyerson are (I had to google Bess). I plead with her to not tell the story, for the millionth time, about how the Sisterhood did a play about her. And, then out of thin air she comes up with the ending: "If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere." Wait, where? What are you talking about? I succumb and join CityBaby on the floor for fruit and coffee cake. And the two of us sit there and listen, for the millionth time about the play and Hedda Hopper and Bess Meyerson and the Great Israel Bond Drive of 1962. Sigh...........

Self Imposed Blog Rule

I have not been a very good blogger. In fact, I've been a bad blogger. Sure I am not twitter which is a blog for time-crunched folks like myself. But the thing that really gets me is I like to blog. I like to write and I like to observe and then dish it up for all you readers. So, I am self-imposing a blog rule: blog every day. Even if it's just to say hi. I have recently gained inspiration from the millions of every day people who following Oprah for a year or creating Happiness or knitting every pattern in a book. So, I am going to blog everyday. Maybe for a year or just a month, I suppose you'll have to stay glued to see how long I last.

From the Library

I have recently found myself visiting the non-fiction section of the library. I certainly haven't read all the fiction out there but had trouble finding anything really compelling. So, I sauntered over to non-fiction and have found myself lost in all kinds of stories. A few weeks ago I wrote about the Pop-Up Book Club and have this to be increadinglymore common. So, here's what I've been reading:

Eat, Pray, Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert - this book felt a little contrived but I found the Italy part melodious and found the meditation part oddly intriguing. Like I might try meditation, maybe, someday.
Perfection by Julie Metz - fascinating story - author's husband dies suddenly and as she is going through his papers finds out about the other life he was leading.
Please Excuse My Daughter by Julie Klam - hysterical and touching all at the same time. Privileged upbringing finds a 30-something girl ill-equipped for life. Tale follows how she figured it all out.
Split by Suzanne Finnamore - I had read the author's fiction so felt this was required reading. Raw story about her divorce. Definitely not for the squeamish.
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls - another fascinating read. True story about the author's youth and dramatic turn her parents' lives take. Some of the stories were so riveting that I kept flipping back to the author's picture on the book jacket because I was so shocked by it.

And here's what's on "To Read" list:

Open by Andre Agassi (a CityCrab recommendation)
The Invisible Wall by Harry Bernstein (another CityCrab recommendation)
The Rabbi's Daughter by Reva Mann

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving marks the anniversary of my blog. 4 years. It's hard to believe that 4 years I started blogging. It's also interesting to see what has transpired the last 4 years. I moved states, jobs, lost a dog, gained a baby....and those are just the biggies. Thanksgiving also marks the family holiday that CityCrab and I host. Between us we've got a sizeable family. Now, I know you're thinking dining room table with the card table annex at the end. No, I am talking multiple tables in multiple rooms. Usually we host about 30. This year, however, we hosted a measly 18 people. That's nothing for us. It was amazingly stress-free. Of course, we have amazing help (domestic and otherwise) who we could not do it without and it all came together quite nicely. CityCrab's turkey was outstanding. Moist, flavorful - it did not disappoint. And, best of all we got the chance to spend it with friends and family.

Pop-Up Book Club

So, this title is probably a little misleading now that I look at it. It makes it seem as though I am in a bookclub that reads pop-up books. Now, wouldn't that be fun....for my toddler and all his friends. But I am actually not in a book club at all. The Pop-up is a recent phenomenon that has hit the retail scene. Stores open up small outlets of their larger stores for limited times. It is mostly happening in larger cities. I believe Target may have started this...does anyone remember the Target boat in the Hudson River in early 2000? I believe this concept could catch on with book clubs. This occurred to me last night. We met 3 other couples for dinner. These are some of our oldest & dearest friends. CityCrab has known the husbands practically since he was born. And the significant others all get along. We all lead very busy lives and we don't get a chance to see each other often and catch up. Well, for whatever reason we all started talking about what we're reading. And, voila, the pop-club book club was born. We all read the same books and we started to discuss them. Then the talk wandered to The Kindle and whether to Kindle or not. Then we started sharing titles of great reads. It's the perfect kind of book club. No pressure to finish a book you don't like, no pressure to host people in your houme or arrange daycare to attend. You just pop-up your title, throw it out there and discuss.

Flair

Tonight CityCrab and I attended the opening night of the season at Charleston Stage. CityCrab is on the board and as such we were invited to the opening night cocktail reception. The attendant at Will Call handed me 2 tickets and 2 names tags. I passed everything over to CityCrab (I was bagless tonight - it's one the lesser known benefits of marriage). CityCrab promptly handed my name tag back to me. I waved my hand and answered "I don't wear flair." Of course, he gave me a hard time about this. So, against my will I pinned that name tag to my blouse. We drank, we schmoozed, they dimmed the lights and we made our way to the theater. As I was standing at the top of the stairs waiting for CityCrab, a woman approached me, handed me 2 tickets and asked me where she was sitting. I looked at her and said, "I don't work here." And that, my friends, is why I don't wear flair.

The Tale of the Craigslist Nanny

I only have myself to blame. I see the number come across caller ID and I pick it up. I'm not even sure I heard the second half of the first ring and what I hear emanating from Mama Ruth's mouth is: "Nancy says you have an ad for a nanny on Craigslist. Don't you know people die on Craigslist?" I am speechless. "What?", which is an attempt to buy time. "Craigslist? Do you mean Facebook?"

Backstory: Nancy* is my aunt. A few weeks ago, in an attempt to find a new nanny I decided to let social media do a little work for me. So, I posted a status that read "...is seeking a nanny. Any referrals?" We all know the best way to secure good services is through referrals.

Back to the rest of the conversation:

Mama Ruth: What is this Facebook?
Me: (a lot of mumbling as I attempt to explain social media and the information superhighway to a woman who still wears gloves and a hat when she travels by train)...uh, it's a website where you are friends with people."
MR: "People die there."
Me: In my head I say, "Well, if you post an ad for a tranny hooker, then, yes, people might die there." But what I really say is, "Not anyone we know." This is usually totally acceptable reasoning with her.
MR: "Well, I don't like it."
Me: "Well, I need someone to watch CityBaby."
MR: "If you need me to, I can watch him Wednesday afternoons."
Me: In my head again, "How gracious of you to give up a few hours of your week in between hair appointments, 2 games of bridge and the rabbi's class and how bold of you to assume that I would want my 14 month old son hanging with someone who deems it completely acceptable for him to suck on sterling silver candlesticks. She does, ya know. But what I really say is, "That's OK. I'm sure I'll find someone."
MR: "Well, you better put a big red ribbon on him." Here we go with the Kabbalah crap again. I've learned my lesson here.
Me: "Um, OK."

Then she declares that she has to go. Ah, all is right in the world again.


*All names have been changed to protect the innocent, except for Mama Ruth, that is her name and she is not innocent.

Over and Dunne

Today came very sad news. One of my all time favorite authors and personalities passed away. Dominick Dunne was an old Hollywood legend. I first became acquainted with him in my high school years through Vanity Fair. After reading everything he wrote for the mag, I went back and read everyone of his books. I followed him as he followed OJ; the first, second and third time, and the Menendez brothers and Lily Safra and on and on and on. One day I had the opportunity to meet him on the Metro North train from New Haven back to the city. I spent the entire trip sitting across from him trying to contain my excitement at being in his impeecably dressed presence. At 125th St., I finally leaned over and told him I was a fan. I remember how grateful he was and how he promptly went back to his paper. I mean, it's not like he was going to invite me to Swifty's for a drink. In any event, I'll miss his monthly VF article, his presence at the big courtroom dramas and all his untold stories.

Culinary Tour Stop #1

Last week, we hit our first stop on the Sullivans Island Culinary Tour 2009. HomeTeam BBQ. Here's the rundown:

1. Food was pretty good. Their lunch menu is pretty straight forward: sandwiches with 1 side, chicken (1/4 or 1/2) with a choice of sides, a whole host of salads.

2. Mam Ruth was horrified....let me say that again HORRIFIED, that CityBbay had food all over his face and the table. I had to turn to her, lean in and in a controlled voice tell her, that he's a baby and we're eating in place that is basically a beach bar. This is what it's like when you have a baby.

3. Just so she wouldn't be outdone, she had to dispense a bit of her own wisdom. She proceeded tot ell me that when you have a baby you have put locks on all your doors and cabinets (Really?) and that with medicine? "You have to buy a house 4 blocks away and lock all your medicine in a cabinet in the 3rd floor." OK, thanks for the real world advice.

All in all, everyone enjoyed themselves. Here are some pics to document the revelry. My personal favorite is the one where Mama Ruth tried to get CityBaby to tango.



Next stop.....Thyme.

Goods Reads, Good Bye!

At the urging of a friend, I joined goodreads.com. It's a site that allows you to post your past, current & future reads, recommend and rate books and link to your friends (and their friends) to see what everyone is reading. Quite frankly, it makes me feel deficient. I love to read, however, lately I've been having trouble finding time & patience. So, how do you think I feel when I am still on the book I bought for last year's vacation and I get weekly updates from people who have read 2 books? So, I have decided to ditch goodreads and introduce to a far more antiquated system. Every time I see a book I think I might like to read, I go to amazon.com, look it up and add it to my wishlist. I am loathe to admit that my amazon wishlist looks like the middle well of my car and the top drawer of my nightstand: a dumping station for crap. But I find it an effective way to remind myself of books that appeared interesting. So, I am revealing my wishlist. Enjoy browsing my list and start your own and share it.

Like Riding a Bike

I want this. I saw it today online and decided I want it. Can't you just see it? I am trekking to the beach with CityBaby and beach gear in tow. I am jetting off to the grocery store with my recyclable bags hanging out the back. I am maneuvering the cobblestone streets of downtown Charleston with fresh flowers and a baguette riding alongside Reuben. You can't see it? Oh, shoot. I can't either but I still want it anyway.

Dissed

Today CityBaby and I were dissed. Hard. By Mama Ruth. See Culinary Tour for background but today we were scheduled to have lunch. Last night at 8:30, we spoke and firmed it up. Pick you up at 12:15. Perfect. Then this morning I called Mama Ruth to re-confirm, I figure you need to do this with a 91 year old woman. And, she coldly asked me if I got her message. Uh, no. In fact, I didn;\'t even hear the phone ring. Well, she tells me that last night she got a call and "her girls" need her for a fourth to play cards. Gee, I guess you can't let Frances, Muriel and Phyllis down. They're your girls. They need you. Your blood relations including your great-grandson, who you usually dote on, will fend for ourselves. Seriously, we'll be fine. Really.

Culinary Tour

Even though we are in the worst economic time since the Depression, there seems to be a plethora of new restaurants opening up in my area. Of course, I don't really know about them because I don't pay attention to such things. But, thankfully, I have Mama Ruth. No one makes a move without her knowing. You can't open a restaurant, change the display in the window of your store or forget to pick up your mail without her knowing. So, in light of the new openings, she has planned a Culinary Tour of Sullivan's Island. This will be helpful for anyone traveling to Charleston anytime soon. So, here's our itinerary:

Thyme - Apparently, this place has been around for awhile but I never noticed it. They have sandwiches, salads and such. Mama Ruth claims it's very good. I imagine this to be the kind of place you pick up sandwiches on your way to the beach.

Hometeam BBQ - The genesis for this stop was created when my brother was in town visiting. She was looking for somewhere casual to take everyone. She has a tablecloth/no child rule so this fit the bill. I have eaten their food at events but am eager to try it in-house.

Seel's Fish Camp - This recently opened. Mama Ruth loves her some fried food. And, I say, she deserves it. If you get to 91 without anything but elective surgery (cough, cough - plastic surgery - cough, cough) then eat all the fried stuff you want and take up smoking while you're at it!

Place with no name - This is a restaurant that apparently is located between what was previously known as Bert's Bar and another building. She claims it is there even though I have never seen it. They only serve lunch Friday, Saturday & Sunday. I'm pretty skeptical that this place even exists but I'll be sure to share a review.

Sullivan's - an oldie but goodie. This place has been around probably close to 20 years. I can remember eating here when I was younger. It's a neighborhood kind of place. The big draw for my grandparents was the 2 for Tuesday. Get 2 meals for the price of 1. As products of the depression they loved it. Not sure it's still the same case.

So, that's our plan. Since Mama Ruth has quite the social schedule, this tour will take some time since it can only occur on Fridays and the occasional Wednesday. She's busy every other day. Bon Appetit!

The Vortex

I recently read Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking. An amazing book in so many respects. In it she refers to something she calls "The Vortex". This is a name, a place or an object that recalls something else and your mind begins to take a journey that recalls many things all at once. It's almost as if time stops. I found this especially interesting since I experience something similar online. My version is called the black hole and it goes something like this: I sign in to Facebook. I check my friends updates. Then I see a long forgotten acquaintance from high school commented on a friend's picture. I click to see the picture. Then I see someone else I recognize. Then I land on their page (don't they know they can restrict it? fortunately for me, no). Then I see they own a company that makes baby clothes. And they have a blog on their site. So, I start reading that. Then hours later, I am looking at some girl I don't even know's pictures from her family vacation to dig potatoes in Idaho. Sound familiar? This is also usually the point when I realize either my phone is ringing, my baby is crying, the water on the stove is overflowing or my husband is standing over me asking what I am looking at. And I have to sheepishly answer, some girl I don't even know's pictures from her family vacation to dig potatoes in Idaho. Black Hole? The Vortex? Whatever you call it, it sure beats answering the phone, soothing the baby, turning down the water and humiliating myself to my husband.

Bravo, Bravo!

This post is way overdue. Those of you who know me know I am a bit of a reality TV whore. And, Bravo has my number. Ironically, I never watched the Real Housewives of the OC but caught New York and have never looked back. I have pretty much watched every show, recap show and endless re-runs. Now with the addition of NYC Prep and Miami Social....as my grandmother used to say, "what a way to go!" Bravo, Bravo. Bravo!

A Heavy Heart

So, as you can see I haven't blogged in almost 2 months. Why? Well, my last post talked about Lulu, our miracle dog. And, sadly, about 3 weeks ago, we had to put her down. I knew it was coming and in the end, she made the decision easy for us. Her condition has declined rapidly and she looked up at us and said it. "i'm ready." So, alas we did the right thing. It was incredibly sad and heart breaking. And, every day I see her sitting on the top of the stairs, sitting on CityBaby's ottoman, chewing her favorite green bone or chasing that stupid tennis ball. She would do anything for a tennis ball. And I have avoided blogging thus avodiing confronting the emotions I am feeling. But for some reason today, I am inspired. I have so many things I want to write about. There's so muych to say. And, while I miss that cute little doggie, I need to move on. So, today I say goodbye to Lulu again and move on. And, the best part is that even though she is not here in body, she is here in spirit and I can feel it everywhere. And that makes me feel whole again.

Miracle

Anyone who reads this blog or knows me, knows about Lulu. She is our 3 1/2 year old English Bulldog. And she is a terror. We adopted her when CityCrab was insistent that Reuben needed a friend. I was against it and yet from the moment this little terror showed up at our door I have grown to love her. She is our Marley. On more than one occasion, CityCrab has suggested getting rid of her. Explaining that we will find her a good home, and a family who loves her, blah, blah, blah. Through crocodile tears, I madly pleaded to keep her and retorted that everyone in her life has dumped her on the side of the road, do you want to be the same???? She is extremely sweet and lovable and is it easy to tell she has suffered some kind of abuse in her life because she yearns for attention & love. She is a horrible snorer and has some bathroom confusion (is hardwood grass? this always confuses me.....) Well, a few weeks ago we returned from a weekend away to a vomit fest. She pretty much threw up for 3 days straight. On the third day, I called CityCrab at work and told him he had to come home, get her and bring her to the vet. I felt so badly. She ended up spending 3 days in the hospital (cha-ching, cha-ching). We received a call from our vet on the last day of her visit with a list of medications and instructions. We reconciled that the end was near and that we would take her home for 1 night, be together then make the decision the next day. We prepared our friends and family, we took tons of pictures & video. We tried to explain the whole thing to our 9 month old CityBaby We were gripped with fear & sadness. We diligently administered fluids & various medications and promised that we would do everything we could to save her. The first few days, she was tired and lazy. Then she slowly rebounded. I received a call yesterday from the vet after some bloodwork earlier this week. Her numbers are no worse than before and in some cases have improved. She has survived a collapsed lung and worms (both of which she had the day we adopted her), a bout with pneumonia and, even though she has kidney disease, she seems to have avoided it, for now. We know that this disease will eventually kill her. We also know that the time she has spent with us has been the best in her life. We have given her love, comfort, and most importantly, unlimited tennis balls. So, this is a living tribute to her. I'm sure one day I will be writing the other kind but for now it's a celebration.

Busted!

I got busted. Well, I did have an accomplice but I was the ringleader. About 2 weeks ago, I sent CityCrab off with CityBaby to get him some shoes. For a 9 month old, he's got some big old feet. The challenge we have is that we have a hard time getting the shoes on his feet. So, CityCrab comes back with size 6 navy blue Converse Chucks. Super cute. But size 6? CityCrab swears he tried them on in the store with a sock. These things were boats. In fact, as soon as I put him on the ground, CityBaby walked right out of them. We participate in collaborative parenting in our house, which consists of me, CityCrab & our nanny. She is our go to source for opinions and advice. So, one morning in the nursery we engaged in a conversation about the shoes. I was pointing the obvious (to me) that the shoes were huge. The nanny, riding the neutral line, kind of agreed with me. CityCrab stood firm. CityCrab then went downstairs on his way out the door while we continued to discuss the shoes. I can't remember verbatim but I might have said something like, "These are ridiculous, right? And now I have to go back to the store and return them. Ugh." But I can't be sure. Just as I was finishing up my rant, from downstairs came a resounding, "I can hear you..." Damn baby monitor! Ooops. The nanny and I collapsed into laughter. Note to self: turn off baby monitor before engaging in defamatory conversation. Much easier than having to abstain from defamatory conversation at all.

Oh The Guilt

I am plagued with guilt. What else is new? Today, a friend of mine and fellow blogger, mentioned that she had not seen any new posts lately. And the guilt hit me. Like a ton of bricks. I haven't written in over a month. But let me tell ya, there has been lots going on. Sometimes I'll make a note to myself to or start a post in my drafts just so I can keep up. So, look for more posts very soon.

Aloft

Last week, while traveling, I had the opportunity to stay at Starwood's new brand hotel, Aloft. I have 2 disclosures to make: I am an ex-employee of Starwood and I am a hotel snob (as a result of having been an employee at Starwood.) Being a hotel snob is easy when you work for a hotel company. You are staying at the best hotels for very little money. Being a hotel snob when you are not an employee of a hotel company is miserable. But it's not so bad in an economy like this. So, I found myself at Aloft, a vision of W hotels (as the tagline goes.) The hotel is brand new so you can't go wrong there. The decor is Ikea-esque. The bed is on a platform (no box spring) which I thought would be a problem but proved to be quite comfortable. There was no closet and everything was stored in cubbies - coffee machine, magazines, fancy teas, etc. The bathroom consisted of a large glass shower and toilet with a pocket door covered in mirror on one side. There was a flatscreen in the bedroom area and long bench to throw all your stuff (I actually liked this since I tend to have a lot of stuff.) The icing on the cake? Bliss products . The cherry on top? Dispensers in the shower carrying both shampoo/conditioner (which I can't use due to the snarl of hair I have but I appreciated the effort) and body wash. Next time I stay there, which will be again, I am absolutely bringing empty containers to load up on body wash. I'm a hotel snob with a weakness for free product.

Sign of the Times

I know we're in the worst housing crisis in history, a recession and our economy sucks. I work in finance, I get it. I can see it everywhere. Stores are less busy at peak times, foreclosure signs are popping up (even on beach front property) and everyone is offering "buy one, get one free." But it was never more apparent to me when I started leafing through the magazines that arrive at my door everyday and noticed the change in paper stock. I do have a bit of a magazine problem and as such, have become a bit of an aficionado. So, of course, the dullness of the paper shocked me right away. I felt betrayed, as though I had been handed a second-hand newspaper. (This is another issue I have. I don't like anyone to read the Sunday Times before me. It is worth every penny for me to have mine own brand new copy. A used copy makes me feel dirty.) The colors didn't pop, the words looked blurry and made me want to give up magazine reading altogether. Is this what we've been driven been to? In addition to all the money we've been swindled out of, we've also been robbed of the ability to picture ourselves in this season's fashions or to actually feel as though I am seated at the table between Diane & Barry? It was enough to make me take to my bed. But then, Vanity Fair showed up. I knew Graydon and team wouldn't let me down. And, sure enough, they didn't. I've recovered. I'm back. The economy, however, is not.

Hit and Run

I am starting out this post with the words my family members always say when they call very early in the morning: No one died. (That's the kind of family I have - ever optimistic.) This morning we had a hit and run. Not me, not the baby. Lulu. Yep, the birthday girl. Usually, when I let the dogs out in the morning they run across the street and go to the bathroom. This morning a car came by. Usually, I can distract them with a cookie and they run right to me. Well, this morning Lulu saw the car and decided to go after it. Now, let me explain something about her. She is not afraid of anything and laughs in the face of danger. I signal the car to slow down, it does and Lulu decides to pick up the pace and runs towards the front tire. The car is going about 7 MPH when she hits and gets repelled back. The car picks up and keeps going and Lulu rebounds herself and gallops back across the street to get her cookie. Reuben is staring at her with his "what is wrong with you? Seriously?" face. And I can't help but laugh. She is totally fine and the event was so unbelievable that I was laughing when I told CityCrab about it. Of course, his face went white when I started the story which just proves that I know he loves her despite their contentious relationship. And did she learn her lesson? Of course not. This afternoon when I let her out she went right over to the car and sniffed the tailpipe. I'm thinking about getting her on Fear Factor - the canine version.

Happy Birthday, Lulu

Today is Lulu's 3rd birthday. It's amazing that we've had her a little over 2 years. Even more amazing is that we still have her. Lulu is our Marley and we've vocalized getting rid of her several times. We adopted her and slowly found out why the family was so willing to give her away. But all the things that enraged us quickly became all the things we love about her. She's quirky, she snores and she coughs like she's had one too many Marlboros. She loves the ball and will do anything you want at the promise of getting one. She drives Reuben crazy but deep down inside he loves her. She's a great watch dog and her bark is way bigger than her bite. She gives good kisses and is an expert cuddler. Plus, she's sweet and gentle especially with CityBaby. So, in celebration of you, Lulu, let's put a candle in a frosty paw, sing happy birthday and party.

Award Show Fever

I have the fever. I get it every year. From the very first celebrity who hits the carpet for the Golden Globes, all the way to the credit roll for the Oscars. This week they announced the nominations and I realized I hadn't seen one movie. So, I decided I either a) need to make friends with a member of the Academy, real quick or b)get a job at Blockbuster, where I can get paid to watch movies all day. Since neither are realistic, I guess instead of the movies, I'll be forced to dish about what people are wearing. Shocking.

The Human Stain

Before I had a baby, I was clean. My house was clean. My car was clean. Even my dogs were clean. Now that I have a baby, a "spitter" no less, my life is stained.
The other day before I ran out of the house, I did a quick buzz by the mirror then did a double take when I saw a huge Galapagos Island stain down the front of my shirt. So, I smelled the shirt to make it was clean. Sure enough it was. I was tagged. As I walk through my house, I have constant reminders of the little person living in my 3rd bedroom. There's a splotch of peas on the rug in the hallway. And over there by the laundry room is where the chicken and squash dinner made its home. The guest room comforter was the scene of the formula hit & run. I thought at the time it would be safe to hang out in there since it had been almost 3 hours since eating. I heard it only gets worse once they start to potty train. The only one this is good news for is Lulu, since she has occasionally been known to leave her mark on the rug. Now, we'll have to stand over the stain, CSI-like, trying to determine its composition to decide whether we should reprimand Lulu or call it cute because it came from our first-born. But the fact of the matter is I wouldn't change my stained life for anything.

My Martha Stewart Moment

I am not really crafty. I don't own a glue gun and I don't make things. I see things and think "I could make that" but I never do. However, every year for the holidays I try to channel Martha. CityCrab always says that a homemade gift means more than anything you can buy. And it's nicer than cash. CityCrab's family has a huge annual Chanukah celebration. There are about 30 people in his immediate family so it really turns into a gathering. Every year, I try to bring something I made. A few years back, I made chocolate dipped pretzel sticks. This is the easiest thing I have ever done. Melt the chocolate, dip the pretzel and then dip it in sprinkles or crushed m&ms and done. These were a hit but you can't show up every year with the same thing. That almost borders on showing you don't care. As most of you know I have a 6 month old baby so that definitely cramps my style (and time) a bit. I thought about doing something with apples since I have bushels from my mother. But apples are so not a "treat." So, I thought I would do a little Martha channeling. I conjured up my most creative thoughts from deep inside. I even watched Whatever for inspiration. Nothing. Then I went to the grocery store and saw that cookie dough was on sale. Perfect! I bought logs of cookie dough. I bought frosting in a jar and sprinkles and colored sugar crystals. I was ready to go to town. Well, the first batch of cookies came out very crispy. So those went to the garbage men to say "thank you for picking up after us all year," because nothing says happy holidays like burned cookies. The next batch was better. The decorating was actually fun. I dumped the whole thing of frosting in a zip lock bag, snipped the end and went to work. I made Jewish stars and dreidels. Then I made dots and lines. I even tried a multi-colored plaid (didn't work). I had frosting in my hair and frosting all over the counter. Reuben & Lulu were stationed right at my feet for the frosting and cookie crumbs that fell off the counter. Lucky for me they make a great clean-up committee. It was fun. The final outcome a success. My house a mess. Martha Stewart would have been appalled. Oh well.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me a Match

I fancy myself a bit of a matchmaker. I am no Yenta. But I like to make matches where I see fit. CityCrab is often a party to this. For example, we attended a birthday party of a friend. Met a very nice guy there. Talked to him for about 20 minutes. Weeks pass and we have a friend coming to town. We decide to call this guy, out of the blue, and see if he's interested in meeting our friend for a drink. Volia! A date. CityCrab and I have had one successful match. Success is defined as a match that leads to marriage. Although, we can hardly take credit for it since we didn't premeditate the introduction, it just kinda happened. As an amateur matchmaker, you must always be aware of who is single, who is looking, what their stats are and always have people in mind. Afterall, it's not as though you can actually write this stuff down. It has happened this way for centuries in many cultures. And, there are those today who continue the tradition. You know who you are. So, if you know of anyone...call me!

The Matzah Ball

The Jewish people have many traditions. Some religious, some cultural. Two of these traditions occur on Christmas, oddly enough. One is Chinese food and movies on Christmas day. For whatever reason, these are the only 2 establishments open on Christmas. And, it is pretty much universal, whether you are in New York, California, Florida or anywhere in between, where I heard a rumor that Jews live. The other tradition is The Matzah Ball. I am not sure where this originated but I have to think it's the brainchild of some Jewish club promoter. This event occurs on Christmas Eve and is an opportunity for Jews to descend on a drinking establishment for revelry and good cheer. This, however, is not universal and occurs in mnay varieties. For example, in larger cities like NY, Chicago & Atlanta, these events are comonly for singles. A Jewish mtoher's dream that you will attend and meet the spouse of your dreams, become engaged on the following Christmas Eve and be married by Passover. In smaller cities, like Charleston, SC where I live, it casts a wider net. There are singles and married couples and divorcees and people in their 20s and people in their 50s. In these small cities, there are not enough of any one group to make up a contingency for a matzah ball, so we like to throw it all together. A mixed matzah ball, if you will. So, Wednesday night CityCrab and I attended the Matzah Ball. It was a chance to catch up with friends, see people who live elsewhere but make it home for the holidays and do a little amateur matchmaking.

yourbabycanread.com

So, I finally got around to calling the number to see what this was all about. And, I was informed that my baby can read. For $79.99. What happened to the $14.95 deal? Let me back up. Last night, we had a small Chanukah party and Mama Ruth asked me if I called the number. CityCrab shoots me a raised eyebrow which I ignore and nonchalantly answer back, "not yet." One thing about Mama Ruth, for a 90 year old brain, she doesn't forget a thing. So, this morning I tear apart my desk looking for the scrap of paper that has the number on it. I find it and call where I am greeted by a very chipper fellow who immediately asks my name & zip code. He confirms the spelling of my name and my city, making it sound much more alluring than it is (his chipper voice again). He then told me that since I was calling I "must have a baby I care about." Ping! BS meter on! I played right into it and said that since I do have a baby I care about, I didn't have a lot of time to chat. Did he have a website? Of course, he did: yourbabycanread.com. So, I went directly there just dying to see what it had to say. Well, this was not just any program, it is the premier early language development system created by a Dr. Robert Titzer (seriously? Titzer?). And it has been featured on Montel. Uh, I thought that show was cancelled with Sally Jessy Raphael? So, now I'm in a bit of a pickle. How do I call Mama Ruth and tell her she's been duped? I suppose I just pick up the phone and tell her it's $79.95. That should cure it.

The Talking 6 Month Old

This is from the files of the "I can't believe this is my life." Earlier today the phone rings. It's Mama Ruth. I know it's her, because she does this thing where she is already talking by the time you pick up the phone so you catch in her mid-sentence. This is what I catch: "...5 o'clock this morning on channel 32, they have something that I want to buy. I will pay for it but I need your permission." She wants to buy the Monster1200 steam cleaner CityCrab is obsessed with? She wants to buy the Ron Popeil Rotisserie? (Did she forget one of her friends gave it to us as wedding present? Of course she did.) Oh no. She saw a "thing", as she so eloquently called it, that teaches children to talk. This is how she explains it: "The girl on the TV points to a yellow circle and the child says 'yellow'. It's created by a doctor. A Dr. Tisch-something, Jewish, I imagine. It's $14.95." So, at this point I know that she is up at 5:30am, watching infomercials (which just screams inheritance depletion) and that she thinks a $14.95 thing created by a Jewish doctor, natch, can teach CityBaby to talk. When I ask what it is called, she says she has no idea but she gives me a phone number. And, because I have a sense of humor, I jot it down. Now I have to call it and see what this thing is all about. Stay tuned....

Chanukah

Last year's Chanukah post explained the Miracle of Chanukah as the ability to somehow always find 44 candles for the menorah. This year's miracle will be my ability to actually pull it off. Last year was a time of innocence when my biggest problem problem was finding enough candles. This year, I've got a whole new set of issues. I am not very organized. At all. And anyone who knows me, knows this. Having just moved 10 months ago means that I cannot find anything I need. For example, earlier this week I tried to find last year's leftover cards to send holiday greetings. Guess I won't be sending any this year. (Consider this a public plea for forgiveness.) I also tried to find our menorahs. We have 2: one from my grandmother and one CityCrab gave me. If I don't get on it, this year we'll be blowing out birthday candles instead of lighting Chanukah ones. I was talking with a friend earlier today who suggested I go to Target for chocolate gelt. I was encouraged until she said that I would really need to root around in there since it was kinda picked over. Well, this year it's real gelt for everyone! The one thing I did get was presents. And, not only did I buy presents for CityBaby, I hid them....FROM A 6 MONTH OLD! See, I am not all air up there. But the good news is that this year I am sharing the holiday with CityCrab and my friends and family who live close by, and starting a new tradition with CityBaby. So, we may not have candles but miracles still abound.

Having The Vision

I think I need a vision board. I've been reading a lot about them lately and hearing about them on blogs, from friends even from Oprah (whom I think may have invented it, like everything else). I am not exactly sure if they work. Although, I can see why they would work. A constant reminder of where you are going. Like the GPS that tells you take a right in 2 miles. I often write notes to myself and stick them in all kinds of places so I don't forget to take the stroller out of the car or call the doctor to renew my prescription. I know that the new year always brings out the list of resolutions that typically last a few weeks (at least for me). But maybe if I have a constant reminder I'll stay fosused. I'm going to invest in a glue stick and see where it takes me. How's that for vision?

The Big Apple

Last week my mother showed up at my door with a box of apples. A big box of apples. Family friends sent them 2 boxes this year and she didn't know what to do with them so she gave them to me. Who doesn't love holiday apples? I have since discovered that it is nearly impossible for 2 people to eat that many apples. But I am doing my darnedest to disprove that theory. So, for the past week we have been eating apple crisp and apple oatmeal. Apples with cheese and apples with peanut butter. Even Reuben & Lulu were able to get in on the gig since apples are a vet-approved food. CityBaby is getting homemade apple sauce. And, at my sister in law's suggestion I am going to attempt an apple cake. I am appled out.

Kabbalah

I should start this post by saying that I am going to reveal some controversial ideas here and I am treading on new territory since I hardly ever speak about religion or politics. I consider myself a fairly religious person. I embrace my Jewish identity, I observe Jewish holidays and being Jewish is a large part of who I am, certainly from a cultural perspective. I don't claim to understand it all and I am not a scholar. However, I think Kabbalah is for amateurs. I suppose the most annoying part about it is that people like Madonnna have made it into something I don't think it is. It's crazy to me that Madonna can strap a red string on her wrist, start a trend and show up at Rosh Hashanah services with Demi & Ashton. What about the guilt, what about the birthing hips? You can't just believe in the secret Jewish meaning of numbers and become a Jew. I just don't buy it.

Infected

I had my first computer virus this past week. It was a very traumatic experience. Actually, I was embarrassed. I innocently opened my hotmail to, ironically, send a work email. All of a sudden in my work email, I saw the subject line: "Welcome to you online shopping!" I immediately was annoyed by whichever friend send me this crap. Then I saw that I was the sender. And my stomach dropped. Did I realize I had a virus? No. I was wracked with shame because there was a spelling error in the subject line. Then my inbox became flooded with emails from friends asking if I had sent and about my new business (!?!). My stomach dropped some more. I responded, in hindsight a little too defensively, that I would never send that email especially with a spelling error in the subject line and how could you even think I would. I was lashing out with no reason. Textbook vulnerable behavior. Well, I am glad the whole thing is behind me. I don't do contagious very well.

Superstition

My family is superstitious. Not umbrella in the house, death happens in 3s superstitious. Crazy superstitious. It might be cultural (we're Jewish) or it might just be we are crazy. For example, when CityBaby was born Mama Ruth instructed me to take him home from the hospital and rub a pishy diaper on his face. Pishy is apparently Yiddish for urine soaked diaper. When I protested, she instructed me to put a red Kabbalah string around his wrist. For those of you who know me, I think Kabbalah is for amateurs. Here's how the conversation went:

Mama Ruth: Put a red string on his wrist.
Me: It's a choking hazard.
Mama Ruth: Then put it on his ankle.
Me: It's a CHOKING HAZARD!
Mama Ruth: Then put a red ribbon under his crib mattress and on his car seat.
Me: OK, Fine!

Now, I must backup and tell you the extent to which Mama Ruth takes this seriously. She wears a red ribbon on her bra everyday. I remember many moments as a child in the Loehmann's dressing room staring at that thing. If you meet her, she will proudly reveal her bra strap sporting the red ribbon and tell you that she was into it before Madonna. But it goes further than this. When we recently purchased a new car to meet the needs of our expanding family, the first time we picked her up she got in the backseat and threw change on the floor. Later, CityCrab (who is a bit of a neat freak) was in the back picking it up. I had to break the news to him: Don't pick it up. It's a superstition and if you pick it up, she'll just keep throwing it. Same with when you move into a new house. We invited her over the day we moved in. I opened the door to be greeted by her standing there with a broom, a pound of sugar and more change. She instructed me to come outside, close the door and go back in. I obeyed. Why? I had to enter the house with the broom and the sugar. She threw the change on the floor and I had to sweep it into a corner. Why? So, I will always have a life filled with prosperity (change), cleanliness (broom) & healthy (sugar. Sugar? She obviously doesn't know that white sugar kills). It doesn't end there. It seems as though I learn a new superstition everyday. Whenever I share one of CityBaby's acheivements, I have to spit. If I mistakenly walk across someone who is lying on the floor, I have to walk back over them. Did you know they could die? And, don't even ask what you have to do when you put a hat on the bed. In fact, now that I'm about finished with this post, I think I need to rub my own face with a dirty diaper. Luckily, we have a surplus of those around here.

Thanksgiving

I love Thanksgiving. It's my favorite time of year. I love the cool weather and the leaves. I love the idea of seeing all my family in one place (I am especially grateful for this since this has not always been the case.) Thanksgiving also marks the anniversary of my blog. And, there's one thing I have left out, Thanksgiving is the one holiday CityCrab and I host for both of our families. There's something else I left out, our families together equal about 35 people. Now, planning a meal for a 35 people might as well be like planning a wedding. You have to think it through from start to finish. Of course, there won't be any ceremony although someone usually always makes some corny toast. But there's drinks and a cocktail hour with food. Then there's the meal. Then dessert and coffee. Drinks and h'or d'oeuvres are pretty straight forward. The meal is another story. 2 years ago we hired 2 culinary students who made everything. This was helpful but we still had the issue of having to wash everything. I remember our water bill doubling that month. This year we have decided to take a more practical approach. We have assigned everyone an item based on their ability & specialty. Fortunately, over the years we have eaten at everyone's house to know what they can make. We are responsible for the turkey and this year we decided to complement it with a bbq brisket. So, for anyone who is interested, here's the menu (if you are interested in recipes, let me know, I am more than willing to share):

Appetizers will be spiced cocktail nuts, spinach artichoke dip, baked brie, crudite and cheese.
Main meal will be mixed greens with goat cheese, turkey, bbq brisket, mac & cheese, squash casserole, mashed potatoes, sweet potato pie, some kind of green vegetable accompanied by rolls and biscuits.
Dessert will be a surprise but will most likely include a pecan pie, blondies (since my sister in law is an expert) and peach cobbler.

Now I know food is the most important thing but all this planning doesn't even include table decorations and flowers and seating. See, it is like a wedding. In fact, next year I am going to register.

The Great Train Table

Some of you have probably heard this story a million times, but because I think it is that good, I am going to make it available for public consumption. If you read this with any regularity, you will be familiar with my grandmother, Mama Ruth. She's 90 years old. About 2 weeks ago she calls me in a panic. She tells me that she was at the doctor's office getting her flu shot and in the waiting room they have a children's table with trains on it. She said she thought it was "adorable" and she asked the receptionist where they got it. Ok, now I would have loved to witness that conversation because she went on to ask the doctor's office receptionist what other colors it comes in. Remember, she's 90 years old. She finds out where they got it and goes to the store to see it. Hence the panicked call I receive. She wants me to go over there with CityCrab & CityBaby to check it out. She wants to be sure we like it before she buys it. 90 years old. I poll my friends, we go to check it out. It's great - we would love it. Now, CityBaby is just 5 months old so it's definitely not something he can use now but down the road, he'll definitely be into it. I tell her we love it. About a week later, a man shows up at my door with 2 huge boxes. Then he says, "this is from your grandmother." Note to self: cross that toy store off the list of places I can now go. Great. I drag the boxes in and lean up against the wall. 2 days later, I get another panicked call from Mama Ruth. Did I get it, do I like it and is it set up? I try to explain to her that he's a little young for it. She will have none of this. She instructs me that I must put it together in time for Thanksgiving. She wants it up. Here's how I look at it: She's 90 years old. She wants it up, I'll put it up. We walk by those boxes everyday. Sometimes we knock in to them, I noticed the other day that a huge chunk of cardboard is missing from the back thanks to Lulu. Sunday morning, after my 6am wake-up call, I decide to put it together. There I am, 15 pieces of wood, a set of instructions, a box of screws and my little Ikea wrench. 3 hours later, I am staring at an activity table. Staring, you ask? That's right staring. I am trying to imagine what a 21lb turkey will look like on it. Quite frankly, it makes a very nice buffet.

The Amazing Race

Since when did my life become the Amazing Race? I get up in the morning and have a to do list that might as well be at the bottom of a submarine. I fish it out of my bag, open the envelope, turn it upside down so that the plane tickets can fall out. Alas, they never do. I look at the list, tell my nanny I'll be back in 2 hours and dash out the door with my keys. I don't have time to plan my route so I do it in the car, while driving. I pull into the Target parking lot, dodging children and runaway shopping carts and dash into the store. It takes me 25 minutes to spend my 75 bucks. Dash out and on to the next errand. This goes full steam for 2 hours. At the end, I pull into my garage and land with both feet firmly planted on the door mat as though I am awaiting my next clue. And it almost always reads, you forgot to pick up milk.

Where Have You Been?

Over the weekend I attended a couple of social events and this question was posed to me by 2 different people at 2 different parties: Where have you been? It got me thinking. I haven't been publishing my novel and I haven't been turning my million dollar idea into a business. And, it's not like I've been off in Stockholm collecting my Nobel Peace Prize. What have I been doing? I've been changing diapers and walking dogs. I've been doing some writing but not enough to get me any acceptance letter from Random House. I've been working and I've been trying to prepare for Thanksgiving. And, just this weekend I put together CityBaby's activity table which took me 3 hours. So, I guess I've been up to nothing. A whole lot of nothing that equates to life. What have you been up to?

It Takes a Village

Raising a child really does take a village. There are all the obvious villagers like your spouse, parents, caregivers. Then there are all the villagers who have no idea they even live in your village, like the woman at Starbucks who knows your order by recognizing your voice at the drive-thru. And the man (yes! a man helped me) in the baby aisle at Target who steers you in the right direction on diapers. And your friend who will listen to you go on endlessly about your trouble with dirty diapers and how you have no idea how the diaper genie works (which I think is probably why they call it a genie - you have to rub it to make it work?) Or, even occasionally, your dogs, when they can sense you've had a particularly trying day and decide to just chill on their beds rather than eat everything in site. I am very grateful for my village. And I probably don't say it enough. So, to everyone who lives in my village: Thank you!